More Metallic People

Excerpt from a Yes Minister script. Which famous person wrote it?

PM: Yes. It’s all very simple. I want you to abolish economists.

JH: [Mouth open] Abolish economists, Prime Minister?

PM: Yes, abolish economists ….. quickly.

SH: [Silkily] All of them, Prime Minister?

PM: Yes, all of them. They never agree on anything. They just fill the heads of politicians with all sorts of curious notions, like the more you spend, the richer you get.

JH: [Coming around to the idea] I see your point, Prime Minister. Can’t have the nation’s time wasted on curious notions, can we? No.

SH: [Sternly] Minister.

PM: Quite right, Jim. Absolute waste of time. Simply got to go.

JH: [Uncertain] Simply got to go?

PM: [Motherly] Yes Jim. Don’t worry. If it all goes wrong I shall get the blame. But if it goes right – as it will – then you’ll get the credit for redeploying a lot of underused and misapplied resources. Probably get promotion too.

SH: [Indignantly] Resources? Resources, Prime Minister? We’re talking about economists.

PM: Were, Sir Humphrey. Were.

JH: [Decisively] Yes Humphrey, were. We’re going to get rid of them.

PM: Well, its all settled then. I’ll look forward to receiving your plan for abolition soon. Tomorrow, shall we say? I’d like you to announce it before it all leaks.

JH: [Brightly] Tomorrow then, Prime Minister.

PM: Yes. Well, go and sort it out. Now, Sir Humphrey ….. what did you say your degree was?

 

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