Famous Last Words

  1.  ____________________________________________.
  2.  Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.
  3.  Woman, behold your son. Behold your mother.
  4.  My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
  5.  I am thirsty.
  6.  It is finished.
  7.  Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.

What is missing?

Golfing Blues

From an old well known joke.

Back at the nineteenth, in a vile mood, he delivered his bitter tale of woe.

“Nothing could stop me winning. I had a putt of about eleven inches, hardly more than a tap-in, to clinch it. The green was dead flat, perfectly true, a real billiard table. Not a breath of wind.

“My ball was heading for the cup, on rails. Then a raven swooped down, snatched it up, and circled the flag stick, twice. The raven then passed the ball to a vulture, which flapped over to Paradise Brook, opened its talons and ………splash. End of story.”

St. Peter sighed deeply and vowed, “Last time I play X.”

Id X.